Seriously. How is it even possible to ‘fail’?
Just over a week ago I was in London, taking part in the Team Coaching Studio program called, Gestalt Team Coaching. On the final day we were reflecting together about our experience of the ‘Cycle of Experience’ during the program and what had ‘stayed’ with us.
We captured the ‘things’ that had stayed with us on small pieces of paper and I named a sense of ‘failure’ that I felt about a coaching intervention that I had tried.
I thought it hadn’t landed on the group that we were coaching and I named it a ‘failure’.
We debriefed several of the ‘things’ and then this ‘failure’ became the topic of conversation, typically, I’m ok with this type of group conversation. But in this space, I was asked by the course leaders if I’d like to do some individual ‘work’ on this word ‘failure’.
I felt 100% safe in this group and have 1000% confidence in Georgina Woudstra, MCC, ACTC so I said ”YES!” And Georgina coached me in front of the group on this topic (or ‘figure’ as we call in it Gestalt.)
It was an amazing experience, and my experience so I think it’s ok to share on here. Georgina asked me about what I sensed about the failure, what were my needs behind the feeling of failing, where I felt this in my body, where my sensations were guiding me. etc. I arrived at the realisation of my need to create value for others, to feel worthy for others, to feel worth in myself and to actually accept my own worth…. I don’t know how long this took,,, but eventually I arrived at my need for self acceptance and behind self acceptance,,, just ‘self’. Just me… just Nick.
So I started with this perspective of failure and arrived with the gentle coaching of Georgina at the realisation, that I was just being myself,,, creating something, trying something and learning something along the way.
To finish the cycle, we breathed deeply together and this learning was integrated in me.
It was amazing, afterwards I could / can LAUGH out loud at this perception of failing. How is that even possible?
In Gestalt Team Coaching, we inquire into the team to see what is emerging, sometimes, THINGS emerge for the whole team, sometimes for sub-groups or duos, and sometimes for individuals. Whatever emerges and when the group is safe, then we offer the relevant coaching intervention, to the relevant team member(s), for the benefit of the whole team.
This is emergent team coaching, and it is so, so powerful. For the group / team and for individuals.
Working throughout the program, we created such a safe and vulnerable space with this group. We connected deeply, learnt and grew together.
We certainly didn’t fail.
I’ve even got a certificate to prove it. :-))
And even better, I also got a beautiful poem that my new friend Thomas Swaak wrote for me.
When I read it, it doesn’t feel like a failure.
It feels like a homecoming.
How about that for a ‘failure’?
